10 Months {again}

Good news. The 2nd time I took Erin's 10 month pictures, they turned out so much better. Sadly, she wasn't in her beautiful Christmas dress, but she looks like such a big kid I can hardly stand it. I think one reason they turned out so well is that I enlisted the help of her Memaw and Pawpa {Adam's parents and our current hosts} to make her smile and smile she did! 
Here's some pictures, with a little note to our Peanut...

Dear Erin,
What a BIG month you've had. You don't really know it yet, but this month you moved, for the first time in your life! I didn't move until I went to college, so you're already ahead of me. But apart from messing up your sleep some {a LOT} at night, you haven't skipped a beat. You are learning new things every. single. day. I LOVE watching the Lord teach you...because I know it isn't me. 


A big change in your world this month has been how proficient you've become at pulling up and walking along things you can reach. You pull up to everything, and you are growing increasingly frustrated with how limited your physical capabilities are. I decided to try to show off some of your awesome skills in your {2nd set of} 10 month pictures.

 I love the look on your face in this picture! You think it is such a big deal when you accomplish something you've been working on, and it is precious. You remind me that there are a lot of things to get excited about.

Speaking of getting excited...

 ...you have also started clapping this month, which is hilarious. You clap when anyone else starts clapping or laughing...and you've even been known to clap after you let out a big burp or a big toot. I don't know how you learned this, but I love it. You seem to really enjoy people, Erin, and I pray that God uses that natural enjoyment of people you have to further His kindgom.


I think that my favorite new trick you've learned this month is putting your hands on top of your head. Sometimes you'll do it when I ask, "Where's your head?" More often, you'll do it when someone else does it, and then you kind of bend forward like you're doing a situp. I know you didn't learn this from watching me do situps because I don't think you've ever seen that. But it is SO FUNNY. Your little arms are so short they don't even reach the top of your head.

You keep getting teeth...here you are showing them off. 

You still make the funniest faces, which you've been doing since you were born. {See here for proof.} I got some good ones...these pictures make me laugh! You are so much fun, Erin!

 I keep thinking that each month is the best one that has ever been. You are so much fun to be with, and you love to laugh and smile and explore new things. You have been a great buddy for me as we explore our new home. I love that the Lord chose me to be your momma.

We love you, Peanut, and are grateful to the Lord for entrusting you to our care for this time. I pray that I will depend on Him to raise you.
Love,
Momma and Daddy

A few more of my favorites...

 

10 Months, Take 1

This past Sunday, Erin turned 10 months old. 10 months!! So hard to believe. She's doing all kinds of new things...pulling up, taking (cautious) steps while holding on, standing up in her crib, eating real food (even though it has to be soft and in tiny bites), and working on learning new signs.

I was absolutely in love with her sweet Christmas dress that she wore the night before to Adam's company's Christmas party (see Santa pic here), so I thought a Christmas-themed pic for 10 months would be precious. 

Maybe it's because she's 10 months old now, or maybe she just wasn't in the mood, but our first session did not go as well as I hoped.  The light wasn't very good, Erin would hardly look at the camera, and it was hard to get the 10-month sign in there without her grabbing it.

See evidence below...

Note the moving box in the background...oops

Cute, but no sign...moving box still there.

Moved the box... sweet little face but I was hoping to get a smile!

LOVE this little grin!! But the light was still no good...and her feet are blurry

Whatever is happening back there is way more interesting than the camera

Who knew a 5x7 index card would be sooo distracting??

So, the first crop of 10 month pics was a bit of a bust. But, good news...we did another photo session today when the sun finally came out and they turned out great! I'll post them soon...but for now I just wanted to record the first try...and secretly I wanted you to see how incredibly cute our little Peanut is in her Christmas dress. :)

Here comes Santa Claus...

Erin met Santa for the first time last night...the picture says it all.

 

Merry Christmas!!

 

Day 1

One of my favorite things about the Lord is that He is a God of new beginnings. 2 Cor 5:17 tells me that if someone (i.e. ME) is in Christ, then he [I] am a new creation - the old has gone, and the new has come.

Another of my favorite things about the Lord is that He is the Creator. He made me. He fashioned our little Peanut in my belly, and knit her together purposefully. He made all that I see, and I love how I am drawn towards Him when I see His work in nature. Mountains, the ocean, trees...all worshipping their Creator in ways that I can't. And one of my very favorite scenes in nature is when it is covered in snow. Maybe it's because I grew up in Texas, where snow doesn't happen that often. I love how it absorbs noise so that things are quieter...it makes me stop and listen to hear what the Lord is telling me. I love how it makes things white...a reminder that God has removed ALL my sin through Christ, and now the Lord sees me as that pure and white. I love how it levels...no matter what something looked like before it snowed, when it is covered with fresh powder, it's beautiful. What a great reminder that we are all equal before the Lord.

So, when I woke up on my first morning in Enid, my new home, wouldn't you think I'd be thrilled to see this?

So pretty, right? Sadly, my first response was one of grumbling..."why is it so cold here? How am I going to learn to drive in snow? I bet it's not snowing in Dallas..." I'm not proud of that, but that's honestly where my heart was. It wasn't until later that the Lord reminded me of how much I love snow...and I saw it as a sweet reminder from Him that this is a new beginning for us. Just like fresh snow everywhere covers what was and makes room for what's to come in the spring, moving to Enid is a great, fresh start for our family. I also realized how kind it was of the Lord to hold off the snow so we didn't have to drive in during a blizzard. That might have done me in. Here's Erin with Honey...it was Erin's first time to see snow!

Here are some fun pictures from our trip up.
Saying goodbye to Texas, both cars packed to the brim...

My awesome momma came with us, and did a great job of keeping Erin happy in the car. My sweet husband cheerfully pulled over as we crossed the Red River so we could take a picture in front of the Oklahoma sign. I wanted to get the Casino lights in the background, too, but, alas, they would not fit in the frame. 

By the time we got to the sign for Enid, the temperature had dropped A LOT. If you look closely you can see our teeth chattering, and I think it's a little blurry because my mom's hands wouldn't stop shaking.

We are so thankful to be here, and we were blessed to arrive to the warm home of Adam's parents. Adam's brother and his wife showed up immediately to help us unload, and of course, there was a hot meal on the table prepared by my mother-in-law. We are grateful for the generosity of both of our families, and that the Lord has clearly led us here.

Adam started his new job the next day, and we went by for a visit. I'm so proud of my husband! I had to post this picture...despite living up in OSU country, it looks like our daughter is still supporting my TX Aggies!

Thank you for checking in on the Sandwicks, and please keep praying for us as we adjust to a new place. And pray for me, that I will allow the Lord to make me more like Him through all of this.

Last night...

Tonight is the last night we will be in our apartment. The movers come tomorrow, and we will stay here until next Monday. I can't help but reflect on the 19 months that I've lived in the 1100 square feet that have become my home. No, I'm not done packing yet, but I want to remember this and I have some rare moments of alone time, and I wanted to write down a little of what I'm processing...trying to ignore the view in front of me.

 

I moved into this apartment when we got home from our honeymoon. Adam had lived here for a few years, and our plan was to finish out his lease, then look for a place of our own. But God had a different plan for us, and we found out we were going to be a family of three, so we decided to stay. 

Last night Adam and I talked about some of the memories that stand out to each of us about our time here in #3310. Adam reminded that I had said this place didn't feel like home to me, and I had grumbled about staying here. He was right, I did say that...and I regret that because home will never be defined by the walls of a house or an apartment. My earthly home is with my husband and our daughter, wherever that is. I wish that I recognized that my longings to be settled, to nest, to have a place to call my own will never be fully satisfied here. I am made for something more...it's the part of me that longs to be with my Savior. But instead of trusting God to be present in the discomfort of my discontent, I try to control my circumstances, then get all out of sorts when I realize I can't. I try to be comfortable, and to make things comfortable for my family. 

I know there's nothing wrong with making a home for my family - we're looking to buy a house right now, and I can promise you that I'll spend plenty of time, energy and probably money (within a budget, of course!) on making it feel warm, inviting, organized, clean (on the good days), and representative of our family. 

But I get in trouble when I start to believe that I can't be ok without those things. 

We haven't found a house yet, and so our temporary plan is to stay with our generous, gracious families until we do. What a gift for us...that we have that luxury of having family both here and in Enid. But that means I don't get to be the one in 'control'...which I'm realizing is probably the best place for me to be.

Back to processing leaving our little apartment at 3310...I just put Erin down to bed. I had the privilege of reading her bedtime stories, praying for her and putting her down tonight. That's usually Adam's job, but he's at a meeting tonight. (btw, I must have done something different because she rarely fusses when Adam puts her down but she cried and screamed and is still awake in there...)

I held her in my arms and rocked her, and told her through tears that this was her last night here, and told her all about how God is moving us somewhere different. {Before you get too Norman-Rockwell-ish of a picture in your mind, I could barely hold onto that girl because she squirms so much and does not care to cuddle, and threw a fit when I took the book away from her so we could have this special moment...she got the book back. I caved. Nevertheless..} 

I know that she feels the change in the air in our home, so I keep telling her to remember what Jesus tells us... "I will never leave you." (Heb 13:5) I tell her that Mommy and Daddy are going with her to a new place, and it may be scary and different and unknown, but we'll be together, and we have so much to be thankful for, and we are confident that God is clearly leading us there.  

And then I realized that I'm talking more to myself than to her. 

It's been a battle for me to sit down and spend time with the Lord the last few weeks. When I read the Bible, it's been a challenge to think too deeply about it, and I don't have some great depth of spiritual insight to share. But I think it's in these moments that the simple truths have the most meaning to me...and are the hardest to believe. 

I heard a Matt Redman song on the radio today that struck me to the core. The chorus is

Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace; Held within Your perfect peace...

Never once did we ever walk alone; Never once did You leave us on our own - You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful 

The song is about looking back and realizing that even though circumstances were really hard at times, GOD. IS. FAITHFUL. Always. He's not just faithful when I get what I'm praying for. He's not just faithful when people are saved, healed and cared for. He's faithful in all those times, but he's also faithful when things happen that I didn't expect or that I wouldn't have chosen or that I didn't plan for or that bring pain, hurt and sadness into my life or into the lives of those I love.

I cannot even begin to quantify how much God has poured out His grace in my life. It is impossible for me to look at my life and not see His hand in it. He gave me the incredible gift of being born into an amazing family, with loving parents who introduced us to the Lord, and an older brother whom I adore. My parents provided us with food, clothing and shelter in abundance, and have been great examples to me. I have an incredible education, and most importantly, God saved me and gives me grace to follow Him. I have great friends, a husband who I don't deserve and loves me even when I'm crazy, and a PRECIOUS baby girl. {Insert recent picture of her brilliance here...that's right...she's standing all by herself. She's excited about it.}

Today, God used that song on the radio to remind me that though I am leaving a lot in Dallas that I love, and that is familiar and comfortable and awesome...it doesn't mean that I'm leaving Him. 

Is God with me? Sure, He's with me all the time because He's everywhere - that's the right answer. But I haven't been believing that, and what that means. 

Not only is He always with me...that is everything. HE. IS. ENOUGH. I can trust Him...and I can live like I trust Him. So He is available to me every time that I cry because I miss someone here in Dallas so much it hurts, every time that I get frustrated or confused or lost in a new place, every time I feel overwhelmed with taking care of Peanut, every time I feel lonely even though I'm never alone. 

Never once did I ever walk alone, and never once will I ever walk alone. And for that, I am thankful. 

Some of Adam's and my favorite memories of 3310...

• sitting on the floor at midnight the night we got back from our honeymoon opening wedding gifts that my sweet parents had delivered here while we were gone
• taking the {2} pregnancy tests to confirm that God was bringing Erin into this world!
• my 30th birthday Adam woke me up with gifts, cards, and pancakes shaped into a 30
• Adam painting what would become Erin's room; Adam putting together her dresser, her crib, or hanging things on the wall. It's such a turn-on when he's fixing things {Reason #236 I'm excited about buying a house with this man.}
• Hosting friends and family here...especially when our little place felt small because of how many people, kids, babies or dogs were here.
• Running and walking and biking out our back door to White Rock Lake
• Bringing Erin home here...and the second night we were here with her she was screaming, I was crying and Adam was googling, "How to make a baby stop crying". Oh, parenting. 
• Celebrating our first Christmas here
• Learning how to communicate with each other...usually the best lessons were learned when we did it wrong. Learning how to ask forgiveness from each other and to generously give it.
• Making the decision to move to Enid...and all the conversations that led to that.

I could go on...but I won't. Don't worry, Erin is asleep now. The view from where I sit hasn't changed and I need to get the rest of our worldly goods in a box or a bag or a trash can. 

It's easy to be thankful tonight. I genuinely cannot wait to see what God has planned for our family...and no matter what it is, I trust His character - His goodness and His faithfulness - that whatever happens, He wants to use it to draw me closer to Him. 

P.S. One more cutie pic...I love this picture because you can see how I've put blankets and toys down in the entryway into our apartment for Erin to crawl on and play with. I have loved watching her grow from a Peanut who couldn't even hold her head up to a punkin who likes to scoot all over the place!

9 Months + a few days

Dear Erin,
You are 9 months old! We had a fun time celebrating with a 3 day weekend with Dad at home on Friday. You are SO MUCH FUN, Erin. Your dad and I have told each other that you seem to be learning new things every day. You scoot like crazy and don't let it slow you down that you don't crawl on your knees yet - you've perfected the army crawl with your cute little arms. 

Along with your awesome crawling skills, you've started some really funny habits. You talk A LOT...I can't wait to hear what you have to say. You've learned how to make a ton of new sounds that are so fun! You do the sweetest thing when you're trying hard to figure something out...you stick your tongue out just barely. I caught a little picture of it here.

We tried to take your 9 month pictures showcasing your awesome sitting skills, but we quickly learned that you are far too curious for us to expect you to not be interested in grabbing/eating/tasting/scooting to anything in your eyesight.

 

So, we decided to just find ways to sneak the card into any picture we took of you. That worked better. 

Life has been busy this month for our family as we prepare to move to Oklahoma...you won't remember these first 9 months in Texas, sweet girl, but I look forward to telling you about it one day, and especially all the ways that the Lord has provided for our family. 

 

You had a fun month...we went to Stillwater for your first OSU homecoming. It's heralded as the biggest and best in the land, and you were very impressed. Here you are watching the football players walk in on Daddy's shoulders. I don't know how much of the Walk you saw over his head, but I love how you're holding on tight!

 We got to see both of your cousins...I guess the hair gene comes from the non-Sandwick side. There's nothing better than pictures in pajamas!

 

My, my...that's a lot of orange and black. I wonder if there will be any other Texas Aggies in Enid? 

You also had the fun of celebrating your first Halloween. We dressed you up as SuperBaby. I was tempted to take you trick or treating, but I figured everyone would know the candy would be for me. You looked SO cute in your costume, completed by a cape sewn with love by your Honey. 

 When Daddy got home, we took you out for some pictures...look how much you love to fly!

I also took you to Lubbock this month to see your great-grandad. We went with my parents, and they LOVED being with you - and you loved being with them, too! I have so many memories of trips to Lubbock over my life, and I loved getting to share that with you. You were a champion traveler, and you were in such a good mood for most of the trip. I got some sweet pictures of you with GB.

This is you in front of GB's workshop. I have tons of memories of looking around in there, in awe at his woodcarving skill. He's too humble about his art, and the things he has carved are so meaningful to all of us.

But the best parts of the month were just the normal, everyday things that we get to do with you. Listening to your sweet babble, giving you a bath, watching your crawling skills advance daily...your dad and I are crazy about you, sweet girl, and we continually thank God for you. 

I think this is my favorite picture of the month...of my two favorites. We love you, Miss Erin! 

BIG News

[BIG NEWS=WE'RE MOVING TO OKLAHOMA! that's for those who don't have time to read all this...]

1 year, 6 months, 3 weeks and 4 days ago. That's when I became Mrs. Adam Sandwick. Apart from the day I decided to accept and follow Jesus, our wedding day was the best day of my life. 

I remember about a month before we got married, we met with our friend and pastor, Blake, who would be officiating our wedding. We talked through several things, and at the end of lunch, he said, "You guys are ready." We had been blessed with great premarital counsel, training and preparation, and I thought at that point that my head would explode if I tried to fit anything else in there about how to have a godly, great marriage. I felt like an athlete training for the big game - at some point, you just have to get in the game and see how all that practice pays off. But, as I'm finding out, you have no way of knowing what the game will be like!!

I knew there would be no way to know what God had in store for Team Sandwick, but I did know that I could rest in the promises of His Word - God will never leave us, He has a plan for us, and we can trust Him and His character. I also knew that Adam and I would vow to love, respect, and pursue one another no matter what. 

I know that I have only been married for 1.5 years. A drop in the bucket. But the amount of life change and transition that God has squeezed in to this time has honestly surprised me. I don't know what I expected...but I can tell you that I didn't expect that our first year of marriage would be marked by us getting pregnant, me quitting work to stay home with our Peanut, and my dad going through intense treatment for cancer...and the rollercoaster of emotions that went with everything that happened.

But let me be clear...EVERY bit of what has been unexpected has served to do one thing...drive me to a deeper dependence on Jesus. And I am so grateful for that. I trust that whatever the Lord does with us in the future will do the same, IF I avail myself to Him. 

But maybe I wasn't learning that enough...so more life change is headed our way. No, we aren't having another baby...we are MOVING TO OKLAHOMA. Oklahoma! Can you believe it? Some days, I still have hard time believing it. 

But it's true. Team Sandwick...our little family of 3...will be packing up and heading out in about 6 weeks. CRA-ZY. 

What is exciting to me as I think about the future?

1. An adventure with Adam! I can't wait to get in the car and drive off with my love, not knowing anything about what life in Oklahoma will be like for us except that I will be with him and with Erin. From the perspective of our marriage, I think this will be great for us.

2. Getting a house! I will always have a fondness for our apartment here...where we came home as husband and wife, where we brought Miss Erin Grainne home from the hospital, and where we've spent our first year and a half as a family. But it will be fun to have a little home to make new memories in too. And Adam said we could get a dog. A dog!! I'm so excited.

3. Exploring a new place...I haven't moved to a new city in 9 years, and I do love new places. 

4. Adam's job. This is the opportunity that we decided to take, and the reason that Oklahoma became an option for us. It's a job that Adam is excited about taking and I can't wait to see how God uses him in this new role. I am so proud to be his wife.

5. Being closer to Adam's family. Erin has 2 cousins on her dad's side, and they will be 1 hour and 2 hours away - I am really looking forward to spending more time with that side of the family, and for Erin to get to see her Sandwick cousins more often. 

6. A chance to trust the Lord for a lot of the things I take for granted here...friends and family, an amazing church. There is much that is familiar for me here in Dallas, and I'm grateful for that. But the danger in that for me is that I can forget how much I need God. I won't need Him more in OK than I need Him here...but I may feel like I do, and that is always a good thing.

How do I feel about leaving Dallas?

SAD. SAD. SAD. 

To be clear, it's not the city. (Though I will miss White Rock Lake, Target, and probably other places I haven't thought of yet. And I will miss how familiar it is to me.)

It is the PEOPLE. My parents are here. Sweet, sweet friends who are like family to me are here. The church that we are a part of through Watermark. By church, I mean the people, not the building. I cannot even process what it will be like to say goodbye. I have been having more sad moments recently, but I think that's ok.

I know that no amount of exciting and good things about going will make leaving any less sad. Please pray for me that God will help me be sad when I need to be. I tend to be a stuffer...until it all explodes quite messily, usually around my incredibly patient husband. Pray for him. I mean that. He's amazing but there's only so much crazy a man can take.

So, that is our big news. It has consumed my thoughts for the last few months as we have processed this decision, and it feels so good to have the decision made. 

I love the adventure that married life is taking me on...though I confess that I am ready for it calm down. Maybe it will, and maybe it won't. God hasn't asked me to worry about that. Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I am grateful for this reminder... Lord, help me trust You each day. 

Little Punkin

"Behold, children are a gift of the LORD..."

Psalm 127:3

8 months!

Somehow, Erin is already 8 months old today! No, I haven't updated the blog since she turned 7 months...but that definitely means that there has been more going on, rather than less. It has been such a sweet month with little E - and a big month, too! She got her first tooth - and then a second. She flew for the first time to visit family in North Carolina - and she was a champion traveler. She got to see 4 out of her 7 aunts and uncles, all her grandparents, 1 of her Sandwick-side cousins, and spent lots of time with her Dallas almost-cousins. She's started to 'scoot' - not quite crawling yet, but on her way. And, perhaps most significantly, she went to her first State Fair of Texas. :-) It's been a FULL month, both for Erin and for our family, and there is change on the horizon (more on that later). 

I am so thankful because each day it is easy to enjoy our sweet baby girl. Almost every time I go somewhere with her, someone makes a comment about what a happy baby she is. For the most part, she is. Don't get me wrong - she lets us know when she's tired, hungry, hurting, frustrated, or not getting what she wants. And I do think she's energized by going places and meeting 'new' (anyone besides me and Adam) people. This really is a sweet time in our lives as parents - I know it will only get more compicated from here. I pray that Adam and I will grow in our dependence on Christ to parent Erin well each day, no matter what that day holds.

Here are some pictures...we decided to show off her awesome scooting skills this month for her 8 month pics. See how well she gets across the floor - all movement was entirely unassisted...unless you count motivating her with her favorite toy, the tv remote.

She got it!

The State Fair...

 

Ready to start the day! Dad thought the hat was a bit overkill..but look how cute she is! 

 Looks like a perfect fair day!

Fun with Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and Grandmas...

Honey taking us out to lunch

 

 Grandma Nancy with 2 of her 3 grandkids

 Aunt Noni showing off her mad baby-whispering skills

 Uncle Josh!

 Uncle Sam...right before our tour of his hospital. 
Or should I say Dr. Uncle Sam

Sweet cousin Jesse

  Aunt B - doesn't she look ready to handle 2 babies?

Sweet Pics of the Month...

  Flying with Daddy

 Playing in the laundry baskets...I mean, really...I don't think she could be cuter!

 Happy 8 months, Little E! We love you, and thank God for the privilege of being your mom and dad!