It's probably just because there is so much going on, it's hard to stop and think about what to say. It's often felt like there is so much to say, it's easier just to say nothing.
But something I read today reminded me of something that I like about having a blog...a simple chance to share what I am learning.
|Baby Sandwick #2...aka Little S|
Our little girl, Erin, is at SUCH a FUN age. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE being her mom! She is so busy, curious, spirited and a joy to be with. I love watching her personality develop. What I long for her most is that she will have a real, life-changing relationship with Jesus, and that she will devote herself to Him. And I pray this for our new baby too.
I know that this is something that I cannot control, that it has to be each of their decisions to make. But I also know that the Bible is clear about my role in discipling, training, correcting, disciplining, teaching and loving them as their mama.
On my own, I'm scared to death of this task. Being a mom is really hard at times...and I'm not that far into it. I know more challenging days are ahead.
But, the Lord doesn't ask me to do it on my own. In fact, He plainly says that I can't do anything that will bear fruit without Him. Jesus said,
"I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing."
And so, as I daily learn (and prayerfully grow) in my role as a mama, I am grateful for the examples of those I can seek to follow. My own mom, family and friends who are ahead of me in parenting and those who are right alongside, and those who have gone far before me. I love biographies, but I haven't read one in awhile. In the last few months, I've started 2, both about great leaders in the Christian faith, and how their faith led them to be used by God to change the world they lived in.
What has struck me about both of these stories that I am not far into yet, is the roles of their mamas. How both of them had moms who loved Jesus, who taught and discipled their children, and considered it a sweet privilege to do so. They were steadfast in discipline, and as Adam and I are entering the world of disciplining our own little girl, I am learning how painful it can be to truly discipline a child out of love, and how easy it would be to give in to laziness in this area.
I read something today that really struck me. It's the story of Amy Carmichael, an Irish girl who grew up to be a missionary in India in the 19th and 20th centuries. When she hears God tell her to go, she was in her early 20s and the oldest of several kids. One of her first thoughts was for her own mama, who had been widowed, and how much she needed Amy. When she wrote to tell her mom what she believed God was calling her to, it's obvious that the pain she caused her mom grieved Amy - yet she was certain of God's call to obedience.
What has struck me most is her mother's reply to Amy's plans. She wrote,
"My own Precious Child,
He who hath led will lead all through the wilderness,
He who hath heard thy cry will never close His ear,
He who hath marked thy faintest sigh will not forget thy tear.
He loveth always, faileth never,
So rest on Him today - forever.
Yes, dearest Amy, He has lent you to me all these years...He is yours - you are His - to take you where He pleases and to use you as He pleases. I can trust you to Him and I do...All day He has helped me, and my heart unfailingly says, 'Go ye.'"
Wow. The bond between this mama and her firstborn is obvious...yet, both were willing to lay down that relationship to be obedient to the Lord. For Amy, to go, and for her mom, to send.
As I pray that God makes me into a mama with a faith like this one, to see my children as gifts that are lent to me that I am accountable to steward well...but that they are not mine, they are His... I will also pray for my children that they will hear God and obey.
Oh, Lord, help me to abide in You...