4.02.2011

Roommates

Last weekend, Peanut and I got to meet a new sweet friend, Rebekah. Rebekah's mom, Amanda, and I were roommates in college, along with 2 other girls, Sarah and Kristyn. The 4 of us continue to call each other "roommates," even though it's been years since we lived together. 

We loved living together in college, and laughed more together than I ever had before...and probably didn't get too much studying done in the process. We lived in a pink and brown house on Arctic Circle, which we named, originally, The Arctic House. It had 4 bedrooms, and I think my share of the rent was $275/month.

We dreamed of getting married and having kids one day, but none of us dated much in college, and it seemed like we were all heading our separate ways to great adventures. Sarah was moving to Dallas for nursing school - a pit stop for her until she could move somewhere exotic and tropical. Kristyn was headed to London for at least 6 months to wait tables, Amanda was sticking around for a victory lap year at A&M but we thought she'd more than likely start working full-time at a camp in Tyler, and I had committed to going to Central Asia for at least a year. Marriage didn't seem to be in the picture for any of us.

A year or two later, Amanda was the first to meet her love, Chad. We liked to call him "The Chad," and after putting him through the gauntlet, he passed every test we could give him. He loved Jesus, he loved Amanda and she loved him. Sold. They got married in 2004. The rest of us cheered and devotedly stood by her as she said her "I dos." Here is the 4 of us at her wedding. By this time, I was back in Dallas, Sarah had moved to San Diego, and Kristyn was living in China. I think Sarah was dating someone but he didn't last long. ;)

Fast forward to the summer of 2005. Kristyn had just returned from overseas to see what adventures awaited her back in Texas, I was about to start grad school in Dallas, and Sarah had moved back to Dallas from CA. The 3 of us were excited to be living in the same place again. One night we were hanging out at a coffee shop, and a guy came up to our table and just struck up a conversation with us...or more specifically, with Sarah. The sparks between him and Sarah were e-lec-tric. His name was Rob, he quickly proved to be worthy of our friend, and a year+ later, they were married. 2 down, 2 to go. 

I'll be honest. It was getting harder and harder to wait for the Lord for marriage. I am grateful for Amanda and Sarah, plus a number of other great friends who had great, godly marriages. I had really good examples of what I wanted to wait for. Don't get me wrong - I loved this season of life. I was in grad school, I was living with 2 great roommates, God was providing incredible opportunities to minister to others and be ministered too. But I still longed to be a wife and a mom. I was constantly encouraged by Psalm 84:11 - "No good thing does He withhold from him whose walk is blameless." Marriage was never to be my ultimate goal, and a husband would never fulfill me. Knowing Christ is my goal, and when I look back to those years, I am immensely grateful for the season of being single, and the longing He allowed me to experience - because He used it to draw me to Himself. 

So, we roll on to 2009, springtime. By this time, Amanda and Chad have had a precious little boy, and Sarah and Rob are expecting their first that summer. I remember when Amanda told us she was pregnant, I was thrilled for her - but I said, "Now you're 2 life stages away from me!" Not only was she going to be a momma, but I wasn't even dating anyone. I love my friends, and it was hard to not get to go through those stages of life with them. Kristyn and I were still holding strong, trusting God for the plans He had for our lives. 

Much to my sheer delight, one day Kristyn called to tell me that she was going on a date with Randy. Randy...the guy we had hung out with numerous times over the last few years...because he also happened to be Kristyn's older brother's best friend. I couldn't believe it. I had been praying for this for a couple years, and I loved that it was happening. I think they got engaged 2 months after their first date, and got married 2.5 months after that. Since they had known each other since middle school, they didn't see much reason to wait. Randy and Kristyn got married on a ranch in south Texas, at a wedding that fit them perfectly - small, uber-cool and stylish, and with their family and best friends around. Here we are...

But I have to confess, I was a little distracted that weekend...by the man who would become my love. Adam and I had been dating for 3.5 months at that point, and this trip to South Texas was a big step in our relationship. He was going to get to be around Amanda, Sarah, Kristyn and their husbands - who would all need to 'sign off' on any guy I was dating if we would ever be moving towards marriage. Adam was well-loved by all, and 3.5 months later, we were engaged, planning our own wedding.

Spring of the next year. It was Easter weekend, and Adam and I were getting married! These 3 girls were among those who stood by my side as I said yes to this amazing man. I still can't believe how blessed I am.

Fast forward...but not too far. At the end of May, Adam and I received the shock of our lives when we found out we were pregnant! The best and biggest surprise EVER. According to the doctor, our little one would be arriving around February 1st. A week after we found out, Kristyn announced that she and Randy were pregnant, expecting a little one January 26th. That next day I talked to Amanda, and found out they were expecting their second January 27th!

I could not believe it - 3 of us were due with babies within a week of each other. We later found out that all of them would be girls, and we quickly described them as best friends. A few months later, Sarah announced that she and Rob were pregnant too, due in May. I'm still hoping they have a girl.

The four of us got together for some time away in December, 3 of us with big bellies to show off. We talked all about pregnancy, babies, the delivery, labor...conversation that would have been boring, annoying, and gross to anyone who wasn't pregnant. After 6+ years of the 4 of us being in different life stages, it has been so sweet to get to connect with each of them as we have become parents. I have learned from all 3 of them already, and I know that I will continue to learn as the months and years go by. 

I am grateful for these sweet friends. I remember praying when I got to college that God would lead me to Christian friends who would encourage and spur me on as I started to walk with Jesus. 

I am overwhelmed when I think about how He's answered, not just with these girls but other unbelievably fun, faithful, loving friends as well. And He's continued to bring new friends during different seasons. I know that the way I love my husband and the way I parent our daughter is immeasurably influenced by all of the women whom the Lord has given as friends.

Back to the babies... Kristyn's little girl was the most eager to arrive, entering the world on January 6th. Amanda's munchkin came next, on February 1st. And sweet Peanut was last to the party, coming a few days later. 

Here they are at their first play date.



 They had a great time. Clearly.

We loved getting our girls together, and I can't wait to watch them grow and change over the years, and tell them stories of the fun and stupid things their moms did together. Who knows? Maybe one day they will find themselves living together in an ugly rent house in college, and later they will stand by each other in matching dresses as they say "yes" to their loves, and then get their little girls together for play dates one day as well.

3.21.2011

Is this how He feels?

The last 24-30 hours have been particularly challenging for me. Peanut has been waking up to eat every 2 hours (or less), and she will get so upset, that she won't eat very well. She doesn't eat enough, then she'll have a hard time sleeping, and wake up before she has slept enough. When she wakes up, she's hungry, and the cycle continues. 

As I sat with our baby girl this morning, and she wouldn't stop crying, and she wouldn't nurse, I couldn't help but cry along with her. We were quite the pair. She's screaming, and I'm bawling. I finally gave up on trying to nurse her and started making a bottle. I just wanted her to have what she needed. 

I watched her get stuck in this cycle - the cycle of not eating and sleeping enough, and I saw how difficult it has been for her to get out of it. She can't do anything on her own right now, and God has entrusted me with this role to help discern what she needs, and try to help her get it. But what do I do when she won't take what I know she needs, what I know her body is desperate for?

What did I do? I started making the bottle. Then I prayed, out loud. I told Peanut that we were going to pray because the Lord loves her more than I do, and He knows what she needs. She kept screaming, and I kept crying. When she finally drank the bottle, I called a friend who loves newborns, loves Jesus and is a lactation consultant by profession. 

Would it be an overstatement to call this friend a lifesaver? I don't think so.

My friend talked through what was going on with our little girl, and then prayed for me and for her, and helped me determine a good course of action for the next day. No more nursing for the day. I'm going to give her bottles, help her settle down, and we'll try again tomorrow. 

One of the first nights that we came home from the hospital with Peanut was similar to today. I remember that Adam prayed, "Lord, help us remember that we are as needy for You as our little girl is for us." This morning as I watched my little one refuse the thing that I knew she needed - the good food that would give her health, comfort, sustenance and nourishment - I wondered if that's a little bit how the Lord feels with me sometimes.

He knows what is best for me and He promises that He will provide. (Philippians 4:19) He knows that I am like a sheep, gone astray and wondering my own way. (Isaiah 53:5) He watches me when I try to turn to other things to meet the needs He created me with, instead of trusting Him to meet them the way He said He would, and the way that's best for me.

I will fall short in parenting - I already have and I will in the future. But God is the perfect Father, He is the perfect parent. As much as I long for Peanut to eat that which is best for her little body, it pales in comparison to how much the Lord longs for each one of us to come to Him for life. He is living water, He is the bread of life, He is that which will sustain us , and He will never forget about us. (John 4:13-14, 6:35, Isaiah 46:4 Hebrews 13:5) He knows that I was headed down a road towards an eternity apart from Him, and He graciously intervened by sending Christ to die on the cross, so that I might have the choice to spend eternity with Him.

Somehow, by His grace alone, I made a decision nearly 16 years ago to accept this free gift, the same gift He offers to each of us. Yet I still make daily decisions to turn from Him, and go my own way. None of these choices affect my eternal destiny, as I am secure in His hand. (John 10:27-29) But I, like our little girl, refuse that which is best for me, from my Parent who loves me more than I can imagine. 

But, unlike Peanut, I know better. What a good reminder that I am in need of His grace, every day.

3.14.2011

One Month

Happy One Month, Peanut!! 

You have had such a big month, and we are so grateful for each day we have with you. This week,

...you got your first flowers! Your dad brought these yellow daisies to you on your one month birthday. So now, when some boy brings you flowers one day to try to get a date with you, you can say, "Please. My dad has been bringing flowers to me since I was a month old. What else you got?"

...you spent some time on your tummy. You didn't like it too much.
...you met your friend, Banner. Before you had a name, Banner's mom called you "BBFF" - Banner's Best Friend Forever. Banner was supposed to come 5 days before you, but she came 3 weeks early, and you came 10 days late, so you guys are 5 weeks apart. You guys both clearly loved each other from the moment you met.















...you had your first real bath. You actually loved it way more than we expected, given the trauma that sponge baths were to you.





























...you spent more time with your Dad. No one cares for you like he does, and no one calms you like he does either.












...you went on a walk with Honey. I think it will be the first of many. You can't imagine how much joy you bring to her!











...you showed us your left jab. How did you get such cute little fists?


...3 generations of moms and daughters got together. No one knows where those blue eyes came from, and I don't think they will stay that way. No matter what color your eyes are, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, sweet girl.













...the moby wrap has become your favorite place to snuggle and sleep. (other than Dad's chest of course)











...you got lots more kisses from Mom and Dad!














...you gained 8.5 ounces, officially outgrowing the outfit we brought you home from the hospital in! (sniff, sniff) Dad bought you this outfit the day after we found out about you, when only he and I knew about you. We're so proud of you for growing so well!





















...our little family of 3 had a wonderful weekend together. We love you more than we can say!

3.08.2011

Rough Places

Happy 3 weeks to our little girl!

I love this picture! Peanut's smile looks a little mischievious, like she knows about a surprise she can't wait to share. Or, she has gas.

We don't see these beautiful eyes open too often these days. She seems to be sleeping, eating and crying most of the time, and so her eyes are closed a lot. But, when she is awake and content, I try to grab my camera to capture some of her funny faces. 

Despite the joy of the last 3+ weeks of having her at home with us, the last few days have been rough for me. I'm not sure why, but she has been especially fussy, and it has made for some long nights for both Adam and me. I wouldn't trade this time for anything, but it has been hard. 

In the past, there are certain things I would do in the midst of challenging situations to get through them. Maybe go on a run, have coffee with a friend, call someone to chat, wake up early for a good, long quiet time, take a nap, or spend some uninterrupted time with Adam and be reminded of what God's word says. 

Having a newborn at home has changed all of that. 

These days, I feel really excited when I have 30 minutes to take a shower. I'm not complaining, but adjusting to this new lifestyle is taking some well, adjustment. And I think I am beginning to feel the effects of that.

At some point this weekend, probably in the middle of the night, I remembered a verse that I love - Isaiah 42:16:

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, 
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; 
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them."

If there has ever been a time I have felt blind, walking down an unfamiliar path, this is it. I adore my baby, but there have been rough places along the road of caring for her, and going from a family of 2 to a family of 3. And I know that there will be many rough places ahead on this journey of parenting, and marriage for that matter. But what a comfort to know that the Lord who made our little girl and who made me will lead me and guide me, and will not forsake me along the way.

And, how comforting to know that the Lord is the one who will be faithful to lead and guide Peanut as well. Adam and I aren't doing this on our own. I'm certain that she's walking an unfamiliar path as well, and these same words are true for her.

Some of the highlights of Peanut's third week...
Walking around White Rock Lake, snug as a bug
 




















Experiencing the blessedly brief "mustache March." I say why mess up such a good-looking face with a 'stache like that? ;)
 




















...I don't think Peanut minded it.




















She also got to finish meeting her aunts, uncles and cousins this week - my brother and Adam's older brother, sister-in-law and their 1 year old all came in town to visit. It was so fun having them all here. More pictures from that later. 

We love you, sweet girl. You continue to melt our hearts when you do the smallest thing - the way you stretch your arms above your head when we're trying to wake you up, the funny noises you make, the way your eyes get so small when you're crying, the extremely advanced neck muscles that we think you have, and the cute little squeaks you make when you yawn and hiccup. 

We are grateful for you, and wouldn't trade this road for anything, even if it is a little rough at times.

2.26.2011

2 whole weeks...

I can't believe that our baby is 2 weeks old...actually 2 weeks and one day. A sweet friend brought us dinner yesterday and asked if she was a month old yet and I almost teared up thinking that in just 2 weeks, she will be a month old! I can't believe how fast it is going. Someone said that with a newborn, the days are long, but the weeks go by fast.

I think for us, the days don't feel long - but the nights do. We haven't figured out her pattern yet, or her different cries to tell us exactly what she wants - but part of what makes this whole experience unique is that it isn't always easy. I have found myself praying often to the Lord in the middle of the night, asking Him to comfort our baby, because there is nothing else I can do. It's a scary, vulnerable thing to love a little person so much, and to be charged with the responsibility of caring for, protecting, providing for and discipling her. 

I was encouraged this week by Isaiah 33:2 -
"O LORD, be gracious to us; we long for You. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress." 

I love the part that says, "be our strength every morning" - what a great reminder Peanut has been to me that I have to depend on the Lord for each moment, each day. 

We have loved getting to know Peanut over the last 2 weeks, and she's definitely had an exciting first 2 weeks of life! In your 2nd week, little one, you...
...made funny faces with Dad

...got lots of kisses from Mom

...smiled and melted our hearts
 

...found your favorite napping place


...went cross-eyed sometimes when you tried to focus on our faces


...attended your first game of the SMFL (Saturday Morning Football League), watching your dad play quarterback





















got cuter and cuter every day!















Happy 2 weeks, Peanut! We love you more than we can say.

2.20.2011

Happy One Week!

I thought we'd try to get a picture of Peanut celebrating her one week birthday, which was Friday. I learned that trying to get a good picture of a little one awake is a lot more challenging than when she's sleeping. :) Here are a few...























Happy One Week! We love your funny faces, and love having you here more than we can say.

2.16.2011

Peanut is Here

Our Peanut is here! She has really long fingers and toes, and the cutest little arms we've ever seen. We couldn't be more grateful.

"Behold, children are a gift of the LORD..." Psalm 127:3

Here are some more pictures...
Our first picture as a family of three 
















Peanut and her dad





















Meeting Honey for the first time















More time with dad...















With mom...I couldn't believe I was finally holding our little girl after so many months of waiting















Cuddling up






















Leaving the hospital





















Funny face















My favorites...















Thank you for rejoicing with us! We can't wait for her to meet you.